What if you realize that you can't afford to pay for a home health aide to take care of Dad without doing serious damage to your own retirement plans? Rather than letting guilt subsume you, think about whether you can "massage your goal, and fulfill your need in a more creative way," suggests Nusbaum.
Is there another way to get to the same end result? If the goal is to get Dad the care he needs, you might look into whether he's eligible for government programs that would defray the costs; you might ask siblings to share the burden with you; or you might help him arrange a reverse mortgage.
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